Tornado
Today’s squiggle by Lucy
Martha was about to test the limits of the Miss Selma’s Beauty Parlor $14.95 wash ‘n set.
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Tomorrow’s squiggle by Marylynne
YANKEE GAME
Cactus
Today’s squiggle by Lilly
There once was a bitter old cactus
Who was thoughtless and heartless and tactless
He positioned himself
Under the slipperiest shelf
So he could take some whacks at the hapless
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Tomorrow’s squiggle by Lucy
TORNADO
Tiger on a Mushroom
Today’s squiggle by Nate Boocher
TMZ.COM — The sudden announcement last week that the ubiquitous Aussie tot band The Wiggles has decided to break up has sent shockwaves through playgrounds and sandboxes worldwide. Now, TMZ has learned exclusively the inside story of creative differences that led to the decision that rocked the preschools.
Working on a new song for their upcoming 36th album, the fellas reached a creative impasse over a song called “Tiger on a Mushroom.” TMZ got the goods straight from an engineer in Big Red Car studios:
“Greg (yellow) is the most practical and level-headed. When they got to the lyric ‘Tiger on a mushroom,’ Greg added ‘shroom, shroom, shroom.’ But Murray (red), thought it would be fun to say, ‘vroom, vroom, vroom.’ Greg thought that made no sense, but Murray argued they could be driving by in the Big Red Car when they saw the tiger on the mushroom. Then Anthony (blue) spoke up and this is when it got really heated. Anthony is always the one to go off in experimental directions and he said it should be, ‘Tiger on a mushroom/ broom, broom, broom’ and he would be sweeping the floor. This didn’t go over well with other mates, I can tell you. Greg and Murray thought it was self-indulgent garbage. Jeff (purple) was sleeping at the time.”
The matter simply could not be resolved and the song and album were permanently shelved, along with the legendary colored shirts. Will Tiger on a Mushroom prove to be that elusive mystery album for the Wiggles that fans will clamor to hear for decades to come, like the Beach Boys’ Smile or Guns ‘N Roses’ Chinese Democracy? Only time will tell.
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Tomorrow’s squiggle by Lilly
CACTUS
PLAY IT AGAIN SQUIGGLE: Art Class
Today’s squiggle by Raven Newman
The coffee, it tasted so funny
And the paints, they went on so runny
But he never did mind
As he drank turpentine
And invented the beaverdogbunny
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PLAY IT AGAIN SQUIGGLE: A Custom Guitar
Today’s squiggle by Erik Fox
Original run date: November 22, 2011
New York Times Obituary: James “Jackknife” Jensen
It happened so fast, and the dank, basement blues club was so dark and smoke-filled, and the accounts of witnesses have been so hard to verify that the most famous story surrounding legendary blues guitarist James “Jackknife” Jensen may very well prove apocryphal. But the veracity of the story seems irrelevant in light of a singular career, marked by unparalleled success, tragedy and engineering innovation until Jensen’s death yesterday morning.
Did Jackknife really pull a Swiss army knife from his trouser pocket while playing “The Jackknife Blues” at the Smoke House in Mobile, Alabama in 1962 and play the scorching, plaintive notes with a tiny tweezer? Did he simultaneously pick a large hunk of Smoke House barbecue from his teeth and open a bottle of wine for a couple sitting at a table in front of the stage?
True or not there is no doubt that the incident, or simply the legend, made the Swiss Army knife synonymous with the Master of Melancholy.
It was 1962 when Jackknife invented his first Swiss Army guitar. The first was the simplest, with nothing more than a six-string acoustic, a harmonica and a pair of scissors. But as his playing style became more intricate and his love of small tools more obsessive, the instruments became ever more complex. There were microphones and 12-strings, hollow-bodies and screwdrivers, mandolins and levels. By the 1990s, Jackknife had invented his masterpiece: an instrument that included five guitars, a wrench, a mouth harp, a panic whistle, an electronic tuner, a guitar pick dispenser and a full set of Allen wrenches.
Jensen was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1989, when Bruce Springsteen called him “the most dangerous guitarist to ever wield a corkscrew.” Jackknife died suddenly and unexpectedly at his home yesterday at age 104.
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Hedgehog: Animavengers Profile #5
Today’s squiggle by Maddie Boehneein
The Animavengers Profiles:
Hawkhog
Real Name: Quill Barton
Location: Forest
First Appearance: Lesser Known Heroes #3
Team Affiliations: Animavengers, P.R.I.C.K.S. (Precision-Range Infiltration Combat Kill Squad)
Origin and Powers: At just six days old, young Quill Barton saw his parents become roadkill before his eyes on the main road of a national park. A passing motorist took pity on him and drove him away to safety, only to press Quill into service as a performer in a traveling circus. Quill was trained as a swordsman, acrobat and dead-eye marksman, who could shoot his spines with terrifying accuracy. Night after night, audiences would watch in awe-struck terror as Quill tucked himself into a tight ball and rolled straight into the mouth of a lion, only to come rolling back out minutes later to gasps of relief. When the circus became infiltrated by Russian spies in Hawkhog #6, including Striped Widow (posing as a trick diver), the two became romantically involved but tragically so, as Hawkhog could never really get close to Striped Widow without impaling her and Striped Widow could never get close without leaving water. When Striped Widow was recruited by the Animavengers, she insisted that Hawkhog be part of the deal.
Interesting Fact: Chicks dig Hawkhog.
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Monday’s squiggle by Nate Boocher
A TIGER ON A MUSHROOM
Angelfish: Animavengers Profile #4
Today’s squiggle by Megan Curbelo
The Animavengers Profiles:
Striped Widow
Real Name: Fishtailia Romanova
Location: International waters
First Appearance: Tales of Hotness for Young Boys #1 (1966)
Team Affiliations: Animavengers, Skin Tight Squad, B.A.B.E.S. (Black Angelfish Ballistic Espionage Squad)
Origin and Powers: Though possessing no superpowers, Striped Widow is still among the deadliest and most skilled hero of the comics universe. Born in Russian waters as Fishtailia Romanova, the beautiful young angelfish was taken as a guppy and raised in a controlled tank environment to be a Russian spy. She excelled quickly in martial arts, weaponry and camouflage. But her powers of seduction may be her greatest asset, as male fish of every species are mesmerized by her vivid stripes and skin tight scales, which stretch provocatively from dorsal to anal fins. Her relationship with the deadly marksman Hawkhog prompted her defection to the U.S., and precipitated her alliance with the Avengers, whom she joined in Avengers #26.
Interesting Fact: Readers of Striped Widow #15 were certain it was the end of their beloved angelfish when she was inadvertently sold to a pet store and became the pet of a cruel young boy who taunted her with a crane toy. She turned the crane on him in Striped Widow #16, blinding and maiming him. It allowed her escape, but also created her new nemesis, the sinister Dr. Crane.
Next Profile: Hawkhog
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Tomorrow’s squiggle by Maddie Boehneein
HEDGEHOG
Panda: Animavengers Profile #3
Today’s squiggle by Amanda Dougherly
The Animavengers Profiles:
The Incredible Ling Ling
Real Name: Ling Ling Banner
Location: San Diego Zoo
First Appearance: Incredible Ling Ling #1 (1962)
Team Affiliations: Animavengers, Fists of Furry, The Cute But Deadly 5
Origin and Powers: Ling Ling Banner was a meek panda being housed at the San Diego zoo, where zookeepers worried about his solitary and brooding nature. They desperately wanted to find him a mate in order for the zoo to receive much-needed funding to keep the panda program going. Researchers decided to try a top-secret protocol of small gamma ray exposure to boost Ling Ling’s assertiveness and confidence with the lady pandas. During a freak accident in which the gamma ray was mysteriously unable to shut off, Ling Ling received a massive dose, presumably enough to kill 50 pandas instantly. Instead, Ling Ling was transformed from a cute, cuddly panda whose likeness sold for $14.95 at the zoo gift shop, into a monstrous beast, a killing machine of such extraordinary physical strength that no iron cage bars could contain him. After some hours, Ling Ling returned to his natural state but could turn instantly into The Incredible Ling Ling when angered. No one learned this lesson more severely than the evil zookeeper Dr. Serpentine, when he repeatedly waved bamboo in front of Ling Ling’s face and snatched it away in The Incredible Ling Ling #3. Ling Ling joined the Animavengers in Animavengers #6 and remains the most volatile and troublesome member of the team.
Interesting Fact: When a mural artist tried painting a likeness of the enraged Ling Ling on the side of a Chinese restaurant for publicity, The Incredible Ling Ling flew into an insane rage and sued the restaurant for copyright infringement and trademark violations.
Next Profile: Striped Widow
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Tomorrow’s squiggle by Megan Curbelo
ANGELFISH
A Seahorse: Animavengers Profile #2
Today’s squiggle by Alyssa Tang
The Animavengers Profiles:
Iron Horse
Real Name: Tony Finn
Location: Western Atlantic Ocean
First Appearance: Strange But True Fish Tales #32 (1963)
Team Affiliations: Animavengers, Stealth Squad, La Leche League
Origin and Powers: Tony Finn was a brash and brilliant young fish whose father had made a fortune as a big player in the brine shrimp industrial-complex. Self-centered, egotistical and unpredictable, Finn took over his father’s company at 21 months old and began developing weapons-grade brine shrimp in addition to a highly experimental seahorse suit which transformed his natural armorlike plates into indestructible iron. As Iron Horse, Tony Finn was no longer crippled with slow swimming speed but could now hurtle through the water at the astounding speed of 10 feet per hour. His defeat of the villains Sting Ray and Dr. Crab in Iron Horse #12 catapulted Iron Horse to the upper echelon of the comics universe and earned him an invitation into the Animavengers.
Interesting Fact: During Iron Horse’s epic battle with Tunamaniac, Finn, who was quite the lady’s fish, was pregnant with more than five dozen offspring from three different mates.
Next Profile: The Incredible Ling Ling
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Tomorrow’s squiggle by Amanda Dougherly
PANDA
Ice Fishing: Animavengers Profile #1
Today’s squiggle by Lucy
The Animavengers Profiles:
Captain Antartica
Real Name: Ben Beluga
Location: South Pole
First Appearance: Captain Antarctica Comics #1 (1940)
Team Affiliations: Animavengers, Sea Team 4, W.H.A.L.E. (Western Hemisphere All-Star League of Enforcers)
Powers: Injected with super whale serum as part of a secret government project to create an army of super-whales, Bob Beluga is transformed from a mild-mannered blubber scientist into the perfect undersea weapon. The force of his blow hole can spout water out of the earth’s atmosphere into space and rip holes straight through Nazi submarines. Captain Antarctica is seen as the leader and conscience of the Animavengers, willing to fight to the bitter end to protect glaciers and ice floes across the earth.
Interesting Fact: Captain Antarctica was trapped for 70 years under the Ross Ice Shelf until an unsuspecting ice fisher accidentally broke through his icy grave.
Next Profile: Iron Horse
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Tomorrow’s squiggle by Alyssa Tang
A SEAHORSE
